III

 

And having divided loveliness from desire, would desire not be (should desire not be?) utterly overwhelming, and all consuming, and devour? Not the lover, but the loved?

And that the half-loved are the living dead.

But ‘caritas’ alone may touch – caress – the living with the blessing of loveliness, as a wand might spark its magic, withdraw and not destroy – the gift and not the act of love. So must we know, by some angel’s touch, when to grow and when be grown by love. If you would live you must kill or give. Do not maim, do not be the torturer, guardian of the half-dead in a half-life.

Flower! Star!

And you shall not, thank Olson, bury the dead, but let the parentheses open

Open!

 

 

 

As an ejaculation in the phosphorescent sea, your time-net flowers in eternity, and there you are!

In a river of stars.

 

And that the band-width of humanity be kept forever wide. What one uncovers (creates) simply widens the band-width, sucking the sky, blowing the sky just widens – goes widening – the

song (the band) width

in eternity, drinking a milk wildly trailing light.

 

Give me stars – live

& sing, sing boy of the wild dance, SING!

 

Where the moon talks across the sky with Mars, above some small white clouds of ours; open brackets

the family of all time shines upon the bubble

o so soft, evanescent all our

chameleons’ paths

as lips to fingertips in rain, skins touch and lick

it is your bubble, or beyond, it is a flower

whirling in your wake, or your sights, it is a flower

o forever, forever, forever, it is a flower

 

And if you will consider, the great mass of humanity’s restless ‘good will’ and ‘kindness’ produces… what?

& yet, chaos & clarity of personal desire might be bed fellows?

& lead, nonetheless, by conflagration & suffering, to personal heavens…

that we may have to embrace the paradoxes of violence & domination

to remain modest

& not tamper with the living light

to treasure the voids

in which stars may flare

to be small enough to find paradise.

 

For I saw, when I was a child, and I walked too near alongside in after years, the steel fibres (no, not lead) of the ungenerous, and who despair. Till I can only tally, only sing, in worship of every humble lovely thing outside our darkening schemes.

 

 

There’s nothing for me in the halls of your ideas. No light, no soul, no air, where language echoes its formulas of recycled fears

deadening desire,

taming lust’s beauty.

The Great Cathedral is built

in high order

to crush the holy ground where flowers grow

so sowing the soul of man

that nothing

may ever refresh

or be whole,

save it, the Great Cathedral.

 

Who, thinking of things, destroy them

& that your only truly articulate language

is your sperm & eggs, depending, &

that you had as well dance the fandango around them & their animal and human brethren,

as you had build all the lesser marvels of your mind.

Treasure alone the capacity to wonder and enjoy in your body and soul

the community of Time

 

& in flowering therein, to be lost, as a dancer, above wave tops and spray, wheatears and cloud-ridges, fields and folds.

 

 

 

Ideas! Sod ideas! We’re talking luminous THINGS, whatever the reason.

Whatever our choice of words.

 

Heaven. Not architectonic. No super-structural enclosure. Nor in the mind of men. Nor of it. The great anti-edifice.

So “civitas dei” is absurd, really, and the church to boot, saving only that they might mirror, since we seem incapable of not building empires, the other side, which is that

it is (heaven that is) small and kind and smile inducing, an animal essence in things; the life of life; and death, insofar

as the sky,

or rocks, are dead.

 

Ach the world! (mankind, that is) You long time no good son of a bitch! You have

taken me a lot of energy

I could have GIVEN you.

 

But still you tease who you

cannot release. Only the sexiness of this relationship,

the God given beauty of all of you in your

Worst, as your loveliest

stokes the fire of my heart

beyond capitulation.

 

For the love of all that’s wrong in the world

you might nominate my songs, calling me

to crescendo of affection for that signing of

the rogue’s passage on earth

to deem

loveliness is buggery today

or cancer tomorrow

for lovely is life

and the turnstile of its progress,

which we know to be holy,

has a spindle

defying downgrading,

or ascendancy

in the face of fear,

 

Smile

bash it

& Chime!

 

<...>

 

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